'Real' Weddings: Lesbian Gamer Geek Chic

I probably should have started doing this a few weeks ago leading up to the elections but what matters is that I am doing it now. Last year as many of you know, California voted for Prop. 8 which denies same sex couples the right to marry. I was not shocked by this at all but I was incredibly disappointed and frustrated that people I love and care about could not legally marry their significant others because the slight majority of the state want to perpetuate homophobic and heterosexist views on marriage. This election year in Maine and Washington, gay marriage rights and domestic partnership rights are on the ballot. I'm hoping that these states will grant these rights and privileges to its citizens because everyone deserves to be in a legally recognized union and this gives me hope that someday the federal government will someday allow this.
In honor of election day, I will be posting a few gay and lesbian weddings I have found over the past few weeks on various blogs and 'wedsites' I follow.
Today's 'real' wedding features a lovely femme couple in Australia featured on Offbeat Bride. Currently Australia does not recognize gay marriage but does grant same sex couples the same rights as unmarried heterosexual couples (i.e. taxation, social and health care, etc.) In August 2009, a same sex marriage bill was introduced to their federal government and will be decided upon at a later time. Back to the wedding. I'm a geek no secret about that, so I love how Anli and Laura incorporated their love for all things geekery with their wedding: the video games, the SF, and the manga. It was very tastefully done (believe I have seen some very tacky geek weddings, believe or not, notice the hint of sarcasm?) and I love the pink and ivory touches. Can I just say they both had the most amazing dresses? Anli's was even handmade! If Mr. Nee and I were having a BIG wedding this is the type of dress I would want. I hope Australia will pass this bill so that this couple's marriage and others will be legally recognized and one day I hope the US follows suit.

Just a quick note: Not much going on regarding the wedding planning front. Tomorrow, Mr. Nee will submitting the ceremony location application to Parks and Rec. We still haven't decided upon a photographer or caterer yet though we have some ideas of who/what we want. I bought my aubergine fabric for my dress. Squee! I picked up my Brownie pin from my mom last weekend and I ordered some lace from Ebay (for the cummerbund) which shares some details with my ring. Other than that, not much else going on. As soon as something significant happens, I will definitely let you all know.

'Real' Weddings: Let's Get Medieval

Alright, so I thought I would continue my 'real' wedding series on here. Rather gripe about some mariachi-loving gringos, I'll gush over this medieval-inspired wedding that was featured today on Offbeat Bride and planned by a graduate student! Perhaps I can relate as I am a jobless graduate student with a limited budget and I too am planning our wedding from a distance.

I love how Miss L. incorporated her academic studies with her wedding but did not do complete and utter medieval overkill. It was subtle, elegant and fun. Also, how can you not love that they had foosball and Hungry Hungry Hippo? And rather than have her walking down the aisle, he met up with her where they were going to have the ceremony! Just how awesome and subversive is that? Oh and they got married on a tomb (hmm, maybe we can really have our graveyard wedding!). If Miss L. wasn't already married, I would probably ask to marry her.

"Real" Weddings: El Mariachi

I wanted to create a segment of this blog entitled, "Real" Weddings, where I discuss my opinion regarding "real" weddings in bridal publications, websites, and blogs. Let's just say this first "real" wedding I read about really inspired me to create this segment.

When I went ring shopping with Miss A, we stopped in this one horrible store that made me try on a ring that was worth more than my total assets. It was not a complete loss as they gave me two free local bridal magazines. Mr. Nee and I have decided to have the wedding somewhere in San Diego (not sure yet), so I thought it would be a good idea to see what the city has to offer. In one magazine like so many blogs, websites and other wedding publications, there are the "real wedding" features that showcases a real-life couple's special day. While most of these are fairly typical weddings, one caught my eye and not in a good way.

Enter affluent La Jolla couple, Mr. K and Miss J. The couple met while working at a local hospital as a doctor and nurse. They now own a beautiful home in La Jolla with a huge backyard. Since their home came to define them as a couple, they decided to hold the ceremony and reception at their home. However, their wedding was *gasp* a "theme wedding." Now, I am not opposed to theme weddings especially if the theme holds some sort of significance to the couple (such as couples who do Ren Faires together and decide to have a Renaissance theme wedding). This wedding though, just rubbed me and Mr. Nee the wrong way. First, the theme was "Mexican" or what the couple envisioned as "authentic Mexican." Let me explain. The couple has no ties to Mexico. Neither one identifies as Mexican, has family who is Mexican nor does the country hold any sort of significance to them as a couple. Why a Mexican wedding? Since they love the "soulful" music of Mariachi music they decided to let that dictate the theme of their wedding. The groom decided to dress in a traditional traje suit (which is actually known as a traje de charro but the magazine simply describes it as traje) complete with a black sombrero, silver spurs and black scarf monographed with "Karlos" on it. Mr. "Karlos'" groomsmen also sported the same suits while the bride and her bridesmaids wore "modern attire." The theme does not stop there. They included burros in their wedding and even had a photobooth where people could don straw sombreros and fake mustaches while the Chula Vista High School Mariachi band played in the background. I need to stop here and say, "WTF?" I mean seriously, what sort of Three Amigos bastardization of Mexican culture are these gringos showcasing here?

I have no problem with people who choose to appropriate some aspect of a culture that is not their own, if and this is a big IF, that culture holds some sort of significant meaning for them beyond "I like the music or food of said culture." I wonder if the couple ever during their wedding planning process stopped and thought about the caricature of Mexico they were creating within their wedding. Not only is it a caricature but is also reproducing the oppressive physical and cultural borders that divide the powerful and the privileged within San Diego with the exploited and poverty stricken living in Tijuana (and in San Diego, demonstrating that the border is arbitrary since we are always carrying the border with us and reproducing it elsewhere). They have the power and the privilege to do this sort of wedding while a couple living in Mexico (or other parts of San Diego) could probably not afford to have a traditional, extravagant Western wedding. I can go on about the offensive and derogatory nature of this wedding but I think you all get the idea.

I hope this segment does not become all about critiquing the bastardization of Otherness by Whites. I hope to showcase couples who I admire and celebrate their love and commitment to each other in unique and beautiful ways. But if a stupid, rich gringo crosses my path again, you bet I will blog about it.