Post-Holiday Wedding Update

I can't believe it has been a month since my last update! Mr. Nee and I have been busy dealing with the hustle and bustle of the holidays that I didn't have the time or energy to do a proper update. I was also sick for the bulk of the break which was not fun at all.

First, I bought my dress but I am not going to reveal what it looks like. Some of you may know but the rest of you will have to wait until the wedding (or post wedding pics) to see it. My mother is making me a robin egg blue sash with a copper organza overlay to create an inverse patina effect (hopefully). My etsy dress designer has agreed to make a bolero based on the J. Crew dress that I loved.

Second, I took advantage of the major After Christmas sales to get some awesome decorations for our centerpieces. Most of them are Christmas ornaments (or meant to be Christmas ornaments) but since they are in non-traditional holiday colors such as turquoise, purple, and copper I think they won't give off the Christmas vibe. I even got some little woodland creatures for the centerpieces to represent our camping/hiking adventures. Two of the little critters will be our cake topper which is based on an inside joke between the two of us. Most of the ornaments I bought were ridiculously cheap like under $2 or $3. I also bought some from the Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters websites on New Years when they had extra discounts on their sale items.

Third, my sister bought her Maid of Honor dress. It is super cute on her and I think it is very appropriate for the type of wedding we are going to have. I'm not sure how to describe the color of the dress. In the store it looked almost chocolate brown with a blue shimmer but the website says it is "charcoal." Here a picture of it on the Nordstrom website if you want to take a look at it.

Fourth, Mr. Nee and I are still deciding on a caterer. We are leaning towards a restaurant rather than a catering company because they tend to be a little bit more affordable. We are thinking Lucha Libre Taco Shop if the price is right mainly because I prefer their food over El Indio but they will also cater while wearing lucha masks. Mr. Nee believes as gringos that we have no right especially since I blogged a few months ago about an affluent white couple with no ties to Mexico having a really horrible, derogatory Mexican-themed wedding to have luchadores serve us food. Neither one of us is obsessed with Lucha Libre but we both love this restaurant partly because of the lucha libre theme. I don't want to be hypocritical but at same time wouldn't just be so kick ass to have luchadores at our wedding?

Over the next few months we need to do the following:
-Create and send out Save the Dates
-Select a caterer
-Select a someone to bake our cake
-Figure out linens
-Create and send out Invitations

Wedding Dress Update!

There has been some family drama and I am hoping by the end of this week to move on from it. The drama almost resulted in us eloping some time in the coming weeks and just saying "f" it to ever having a wedding. However, this wedding is about us, not them and I need to get over that and move beyond all of it.
I went dress shopping Saturday to pick up my spirits after all the family drama and to try on a few Claire Pettibones to see what I liked and then order a knockoff from online. However, I think I found my dress, unfortunately, it is a Vera Wang, which goes against most of my morals. I didn't think I would be into Vera Wang at all but I fell absolutely in love with this dress. It is completely out of my price range even with it being on sale, and with veil and everything else included ($3200). Before I show pictures of the Vera Wang I thought I would include some other contenders...
Here is a Claire Pettibone, the "Chantilly"



I think this dress makes my booty look lumpy.

Here is another Claire Pettibone "Louise"


This is a Jenny Packam and umm, I have to say I look pretty stacked here.




Now onto the f'ing Vera Wang...



The back...


I loved how this dress made look tall and thin. It seriously looked like I lost 10 pounds.


After dress shopping there was some more family drama (my mother was jealous that she didn't go with me even though this is the only store in Southern California that carries Claire Pettibone besides Beverly Hills and there was no f'ing way I was going to go to the 90210 and she was pretty mean and horrible about it). Upon returning from the store, I realized I will never be able to obtain this dress. I began to scour David's Bridal, Alfred Angelo and other pocketbook friendly designers. Over on offbeat bride someone suggested some pre owned wedding dress sites, so I looked through those for like hours, over and over again but couldn't find the dress then today I happened upon the dress and the seller listed the serial number! Huzzah! Now this makes it so much easier to find the dress. I have tracked down the dress in my size to a consignment shop in Manhattan Beach! It is still quite a bit of money ($1200) but they have layaway which means it is completely doable since I will be getting some money for Christmas. :-) Wish me luck on my LA Bridal Gown Adventure this weekend!

Possible Wedding Theme and Dress (if Etsy doesn't work out)

The other night instead of working on my final project for my anthropology class, I was re-watching series 4 of Dr. Who. I was watching "The Unicorn and the Wasp" and realized what an awesome theme for our wedding! Not the giant alien wasp but the idea of having a 1920s/1930s mystery novel inspired wedding. Our ceremony/reception is taking place in Balboa Park which has a lot influences from that period especially our reception venue which was reconstructed in 1935. We were going to already incorporate elements from that period into our wedding but I think adding some mystery novel elements would be totally appropriate for us as we love to throw murder mystery parties and I am obsessed with several mystery series (currently I just got hooked on No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency after watching the show). If only I could have one massive large scale murder mystery wedding...hehehe. For the STDs I was thinking we could create a mock mystery novel cover and for the guest book create a novel with images of us as detectives. Not sure how this will all pan out if at all but it would be so cool and fun.

Now onto the dress...

As some of you know, I have been having dress issues. After selecting a dress from an Etsy designer to custom order, I came across the coveted Daphne by J. Crew. I discussed this with my designer and she is going to see if she can work something out. However, tonight I came across this convertible dress by Butter which kinda gives almost the same effect as the Daphne. I guess if all else fails I can go for this dress.

Dress Dilemma

Ok, so I am having a bit of a dress dilemma. As you know, I am having dress made by a designer from Etsy. To remind you of what it will look like here is a picture:

Instead of the tuxedo ruffle being brown, it will be aubergine and rather than the superhero cherry lace patch on the cummerbund there will be lace with a fleur de lis and an art deco circle pattern which works well with our art deco/1930s theme (both materials I have posted on).Well about two weeks ago someone posted on the dream dresses thread on Offbeat Bride about the coveted Daphne dress from J. Crew and I fell in love.

I have been searching for this dress on ebay and other sites but have not found it. Just from reading other wedding/J. Crew blogs, it seems like this is the Holy Grail of wedding dresses. Anyway, I was wondering if there is a way to combine the two dresses. My designer has not yet started on it (she has been working feverishly on two other dresses and hasn't started on mine). My wedding isn't until October 10th, so she has plenty of time, so I haven't been pressuring her to get it done right away. However, she informed me earlier this week that she will begin on it next week.Here is a sketch of what this may look like (obviously I am not Project Runway bound):

So what do I do? Do I ask her to incorporate the Daphne into the dress she has already designed? I am willing to pay more and if she needs more time to create a pattern I am fine with that as well. I am so confused now! What am I to do?

'Real' Weddings: Lesbian Gamer Geek Chic

I probably should have started doing this a few weeks ago leading up to the elections but what matters is that I am doing it now. Last year as many of you know, California voted for Prop. 8 which denies same sex couples the right to marry. I was not shocked by this at all but I was incredibly disappointed and frustrated that people I love and care about could not legally marry their significant others because the slight majority of the state want to perpetuate homophobic and heterosexist views on marriage. This election year in Maine and Washington, gay marriage rights and domestic partnership rights are on the ballot. I'm hoping that these states will grant these rights and privileges to its citizens because everyone deserves to be in a legally recognized union and this gives me hope that someday the federal government will someday allow this.
In honor of election day, I will be posting a few gay and lesbian weddings I have found over the past few weeks on various blogs and 'wedsites' I follow.
Today's 'real' wedding features a lovely femme couple in Australia featured on Offbeat Bride. Currently Australia does not recognize gay marriage but does grant same sex couples the same rights as unmarried heterosexual couples (i.e. taxation, social and health care, etc.) In August 2009, a same sex marriage bill was introduced to their federal government and will be decided upon at a later time. Back to the wedding. I'm a geek no secret about that, so I love how Anli and Laura incorporated their love for all things geekery with their wedding: the video games, the SF, and the manga. It was very tastefully done (believe I have seen some very tacky geek weddings, believe or not, notice the hint of sarcasm?) and I love the pink and ivory touches. Can I just say they both had the most amazing dresses? Anli's was even handmade! If Mr. Nee and I were having a BIG wedding this is the type of dress I would want. I hope Australia will pass this bill so that this couple's marriage and others will be legally recognized and one day I hope the US follows suit.

Just a quick note: Not much going on regarding the wedding planning front. Tomorrow, Mr. Nee will submitting the ceremony location application to Parks and Rec. We still haven't decided upon a photographer or caterer yet though we have some ideas of who/what we want. I bought my aubergine fabric for my dress. Squee! I picked up my Brownie pin from my mom last weekend and I ordered some lace from Ebay (for the cummerbund) which shares some details with my ring. Other than that, not much else going on. As soon as something significant happens, I will definitely let you all know.

Case of the Blues and Dress Help!

I was totally going to make a huge "T-minus One Year" post on Saturday but I was feeling a little blue and lazy. I am a graduate student in a program which forces requires me to spend a year in Santa Barbara. Unfortunately, this means Mr. Nee is down in San Diego. I have done LDRs before and dealt with all the obstacles that come with it but this does not mean I don't get lonely and miss Mr. Nee. Mr. Nee was suppose to come up this past weekend but couldn't because he was sick. On Saturday, I was missing Mr. Nee, lonely (the roommate was gone), and just feeling really unmotivated to do anything. I take that back, I was motivated to spend the whole day watching Law and Order SVU and eating pumpkin pie. I'm also without my car which means I couldn't really go anywhere or do anything without having someone come get me or having to make a very calculated trip via the bus, which is not 100% reliable. In short, I was feeling depressed on Saturday and did not feel like writing about how our wedding is one year away when I'm missing him so much.

I am working with a designer from Etsy to create my wedding dress. I have to decide on what color I want the trim for the tuxedo ruffle, if I want the trim to be on the cummerbund and if I want the bolero lined in a color. I really love autumnal colors but I am not sure if I want a completely "falled" out wedding dress. So I am asking you all for advice of these colors which one do you like the best for these little details. Here are some pictures of the dress, the proposed colors, and pictures of me as a reference. Be honest!







So what do you guys think? Or should I stick with more neutral colors like brown or nude or even a peachy orange?

(Oh and that is a picture of me with Mr. Nee. I think he looks like Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords which means he is hawt like a curry)

Sneak Peek: The Dress!

*****WARNING: Mr. Nee do not look! (not that you read this blog anyway! ;-P)*******

As some of you on FB know, I put a deposit down on my dress yesterday. I am having my dress custom-made from an Australian designer I found on Etsy. Etsy is an online marketplace where everything sold is either handmade or vintage, so yeah if you are into all things crafty and cutesy then you will spend hours perusing this site. I am actually helping my mother set up an Etsy site so she can sell her doll clothes and knitted/crocheted goods.

I saw this design a few months ago when it was featured on the main page and fell in love with it. However, I had just started looking and wanted to shop around a bit. However, I knew I was not going to be a bridal shop dress kinda girl. After looking through thrift stores, vintage shops, couture dress shops, I kept coming back to this dress. I began a conversation with the designer asked a few questions and after talking for almost two weeks about it decided to just go for it. I still need to get some of my measurements into her before she can begin and I will be sending her some of my Girl Scout pins, badges and scarves to make the dress really unique and personal. :-) I am very excited and nervous at the same time!

Anyway on to some pictures!


I love the tuxedo detail and the lace!

This cummerbund is from a different dress but I like the design of it a lot better than the one on the original dress. So mine will hopefully look very similar to this one.

As the title implies this is only a sneak peek but I feel like I have revealed quite a bit! More will be revealed in good time. :-)

Meltdown

I have had a stressful few days that resulted me in having a bit of a meltdown at an academic conference today (thankfully no one saw me). It was a culmination of many things (mostly non-wedding related) and I am trying to get over them and move on with my life. Before I discuss bad wedding stress, I rather talk about some fun wedding stuff.

I think we have figured out the wedding party. My maid of honor will be my sister, Mr. Nee's best man will be his best friend, the flower girl will be his best friend's daughter and the ring bearer will be my dissertation co-chair's son. I wanted to keep the wedding party small since we are not having a large wedding and I didn't want to hurt people's feelings. One of my closest and dearest friends, Miss Ro will be our officiant. I cannot think anyone else who could perform our ceremony. Since we might have the ceremony at Graveyard Park, I might ask my grandmother Dot to say a prayer for those interred at the park and have the each of the guests place a flower on the memorial. I would like to have more family members involved but I am not quite sure what I would ask them to do or if they would like to do anything beyond just being there to support us. Any ideas?

Now onto the bad wedding stress. I have to have some major work done to my car and its going to cost almost $1000. The day before I heard this I had decided on my wedding dress. A beautiful tea-length linen gown from an Australian designer who will incorporate my love for scouting (for those who don't know: I was a scout for many years, worked for the scouts and now conducting research on the scouts) into the dress. It's exactly what I want but with all this work that I have to get done on my car, I don't know if I can afford it and since I would have to get the dress custom-made and it would be coming from Australia it could take some time until I have a finished product.

On top of all this, I am contemplating going to my discipline's annual meeting in DC this year. Originally, I had not intended to but a friend, Mr. Z, roped me into playing a geography bowl game at the regional meeting and I did pretty well (or I think pretty well for someone who doesn't identify as a geographer). There is some travel money involved in participating and I have found round trip plane tickets (flying out of OC) for only $178. The conference registration fees would run me right now about $150 and hotels are probably about that much a night. I will get some money from my department and there is potential to get travel money from some of the speciality groups. I just don't know though. I could easily present on what I presented at the regional meeting but I am still unsure with my current financial situation.

All this is just too much right now, coupled with some family stuff going on and my increased workload at school. I think I need to get back into working out or at least doing yoga or nia.

Wedding Dress Porn

Currently Mr. Nee and I are deciding on a ceremony and reception site (we have it narrowed down to a few locations, we just need to check on quotes and availability). We have also tentatively set the date! However, I will reveal that in a later post. For now, I want to discuss the most talked about item at pretty much any wedding. The dress.

I never imagined myself as the blushing bride nor do I see myself as performing traditional Western notions of femininity but gosh darn I really like looking at and lusting after wedding dresses online. Currently there are three designers that I am totally in love with:

1) Adele Wechsler. Adele is an eco-conscious bridal gown designer. All of her dresses are not only inspired by nature or even socio-political issues (see her HelloAfrica collection) but are also made from organic and natural fabrics like silk and hemp. I saw her designs in the latest issue of The Knot and kinda fell in love with her nature-inspired aesthetic. Unfortunately, Adele's designs are not the most budget bride friendly.

2) The Cotton Bride by Chris Kole. I discovered this designer while cruising Offbeat Bride. All of Chris's designs are made from mostly cotton or silk. I love his attention to detail such as his use of lace and ribbon and other adornments that I usually do not care for. I am currently in love with this dress here. It is so simple and elegant, yet fun and youthful. God, I sound like one of those facebook quizzes. Anyway, like Adele, Chris's designs are completely out of my budget.

3) Wai-Ching. (picture above) Now let's talk porn, wedding dress porn. This designer was another Offbeat discovery, and while Chrissy Wai-Ching's aesthetic is nothing like the two designers listed above, I am in awe of her creative use of dye and embroidery to create truly unique and one of a kind designs. The design pictured here I love and I would love to have done in the autumnal colors of orange, brown and red. I love autumnal colors, however, I hardly ever wear them. My current color palette consists of a lot blues and grays but this may be just due to the lack of availability of autumnal colors at any other time of the year besides autumn. Anyway, unlike the other designers listed, Wai-Ching is slightly more in my price range (still a little bit more than I would like to spend but I think I may have to face reality here) and there is a showroom in LA.

I have been talking wedding stuff with my dear friend Miss Ro and she has kindly offered to altar any dress I may find especially if it is an awesome vintage dress. Since my ring is vintage, I like the idea of having a vintage gown or at least one that has been used. If I can find one, I may have to take her up on that. I might make a trip to LA once or twice this quarter with my mother and maybe a SB friend in tow (anyone interested?) to go dress shopping but I hope to meet up with Miss Ro in San Fran during the winter break to explore the vintage shops there.